We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
