Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize