I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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