I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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