you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
