I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
