well I can't set my house on fire every night
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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