i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
