Capitaan dildo arrescate!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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