I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
