We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Randomize
