What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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