Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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