Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
