I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
