I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
