I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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