actually, I'm a sock model
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
