I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
