This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
