at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
