My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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