At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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