beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
