I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
