So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize