what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Randomize
