if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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