I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
