Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
