I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
