I faked an abortion last night.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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