I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
