You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
