i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
