Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
