her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
