i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
