she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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