i think i have herpe
just one?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
