i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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