I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
