the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
