He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize