Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
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