I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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