but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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