no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize