The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
