Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
