she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
They took my balls.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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