I understand Curling. That high.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
