Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize