Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She's the barista slut.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
