I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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