Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
