My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
