Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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