I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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