I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
