i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
