He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
