What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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