Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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