I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
