Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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