Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
