Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
